You people are not going to like this. And I am so gonna love this.

You want me to talk about Robert Pattinson. You want me to wax forth about his irresistible cadaver complexion, and his Englishy English accent, and his hair, which is so vertical it can pick up radio waves from any lonely 12-year-old heart on planet Earth.

Sure, I’ll talk about him.

Here’s the truth: He is nowhere near the “hottest” twentysomething actor on the planet, at least, in the eyes of producers, directors, casting execs and me.

Outside of the bubble of tabloids—and, um, E!—Pattz has little traction with the people who count. In fact, among the power players, several other young actors are kicking Pattz’ concave buttocks…

Let’s start with worldwide bankability—the ability to sell or greenlight a movie based on name, or face recognition, or reputation. Pattinson isn’t even in the top 10.

According to the Ulmer Scale, which measures international star power, Will Smith, Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp are still the top three actors; even Will Ferrell is in the top 10, along with Nic Cage, Russell Crowe and George Clooney.

As for the under-30 set, Shia LaBeouf has way more power than Pattz. Factoring in every type of movie budget, from indie to blockbuster, LaBeouf scores a 226 of 300, compared with Zefron’s 206, James Franco’s 183—and Pattinson’s 174. And just in case you’re wondering if Ulmer’s research is outdated, these numbers came out last month.

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